Supporting someone who is mourning the loss of a beloved pet can be challenging. While you may want to offer comfort and help them cope, it’s crucial to avoid saying things that could unintentionally deepen their grief. Here are the six worst things to say to someone grieving the death of a pet, and what to say instead.
1. “It was just an animal.”
Dismissing a pet as “just an animal” overlooks the profound bond they shared with their owner. Pets often serve as emotional anchors, providing unwavering companionship and support. Instead, acknowledge the depth of their loss by saying, “I know how much [pet’s name] meant to you.”
2. “Why don’t you get another one?”
Suggesting a quick replacement implies that pets are easily interchangeable, which is far from the truth. Each pet holds a unique place in their owner’s heart. A more sensitive approach would be, “When you’re ready, you might find joy in another pet, but take all the time you need.”
3. “Aren’t you over that yet?”
Grief has no set timeline, and everyone heals at their own pace. Impatience can feel like a lack of empathy. Instead, offer ongoing support with, “I’m here for you, no matter how long it takes.”
4. “Other people have greater losses.”
Comparing losses diminishes the griever’s pain and can make them feel invalidated. Instead, show compassion by saying, “Your pain is valid, and I’m here to support you through it.”
5. “You shouldn’t feel this way.”
Everyone has a right to their emotions. Telling someone how they should feel is dismissive. Encourage them to express their feelings with, “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m here to listen.”
6. “It’s time to move on.”
Grief is a personal journey, and only the griever can decide when it’s time to move forward. Respect their process by saying, “Take your time to grieve. I’m here to help in any way I can.”
What Should You Say?
Offering genuine support during this difficult time can make a significant difference. Simple, heartfelt expressions like, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” or “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you,” can provide comfort and show that you care. If they need more help, gently suggest professional support from a counselor who specializes in pet loss.
In times of grief, your presence and empathy are the most meaningful gifts you can offer. Remember, it’s not about fixing their pain, but about being there as they navigate through it.
